It’s nothing new that men require less time to reach orgasm than women. Once this happens, sex is usually done. Refractory periods occur in men after ejaculation, during which they cannot have another erection for a predetermined amount of time – but women have little to no refractory period.
Early ejaculation can be one of life’s worst frustration for men. It’s embarrassing, turning what was supposed to be a joyous occasion into a source of deep disappointment. Nobody wants to say “I’m sorry” before, during, or after a sexual encounter with his partner.
Premature ejaculation affects one in every three males in the United States, so you’re not alone if you’re worried about it. However, scientists believe a combination of psychological and biological variables is to blame for this phenomenon.
There are several ways to extend the amount of sex you can have. So we’ll discuss here how to last longer in bed for guys.
You don’t have to live with the problem of orgasming too rapidly for the rest of your life. By combining these strategies, you’ll have a better chance of having longer sex sessions than you’re accustomed to.
How Long Do The Average Men Last During Sex?
In his latest book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups, Harry Fisch reveals that 45 percent of men ejaculate within two minutes of starting sexual intercourse. (Counts the time from penetration until ejaculation without interruption.)
This appears to be terrible news for those men’s partners and good news for sex researcher Alfred Kinsey’s legacy after his passing, who conducted groundbreaking research in the late 1940s and 1950s and found that seventy-five percent of men ejaculated within two minutes on average. His findings were not at all implausible!
However, in 2005, the situation was better. In a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that year, researchers had 500 heterosexual couples record their sexual encounters over a period of four weeks using stopwatches. The median duration was 5.4 minutes overall.
It’s crucial to understand that there is no ideal length of time for sex to last and that you and your partner must decide when it is best for you both. The adult film industry often portrays sex lasting for hours, which gives the public the incorrect impression of how long sex should continue.
When Is Ejaculation Considered Premature?
If you consistently ejaculate within one minute of penetration, regardless of how hard you attempt to delay it, you may be diagnosed with Premature Ejaculation. PE can be frustrating because it might make you feel as if you have no control over the situation. The more you do to stop it, the worse it gets.
How To Last Longer During Sex
Thinking about your fantasy baseball team might help you linger a little longer in bed, but who wants to be considering baseball stats while having sex? Exist any real answers to this?
Fortunately, the response is yes. Despite how helpless it may seem, there are a ton of wise, practical, and healthy techniques to slow down or even stop your early ejaculation and extend your time in bed.
1. Slower Your Thrusting
Rapid thrusting produces intense stimulation and may increase your likelihood of having an orgasm after a short while.
There are numerous methods to enjoy sexual activity without prodding or thrusting. You can rub your partner’s clitoral hood with the tip of your penis.
It is possible to enjoy intercourse without acting like a jackrabbit if you know how to do it well. Focus on the nerve endings in her vaginal entrance rather than on how far you can go. Using her G-spot, you can place your genitals there.
Thrust slowly, and if you feel like things are going to go too far (you’re reaching an ejaculation), there are ways to slow down without compromising your partner’s pleasure.
2. Choose The Right Positions
You should avoid positions that excite you excessively. Avoid styles like doggy or flatiron, where you may penetrate extremely deep and get a lot of sensation from your partner’s buttock.
Try postures that only permit shallow penetration and don’t permit a lot of “in and out” swing.
In contrast to extreme thrusting, the Lotus position is all about grinding against each other, so you can try it. The CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) is also perfect and fantastic for your partner’s delight if they have a clitoris!
3. Change Up Positions
During sex, you can regularly switch positions. This is a great technique to make your session last longer. Changing postures necessitates pausing and slowing your movements.
Since there is less stimulation during the transition, your body can cool off and move away from an orgasmic state.
4. Try Edging
Edging is a typical method of extending a sexual encounter. It is the act of approaching the very brink of an orgasm, stopping to cool off, and then beginning up again.
The edging procedure should be repeated as frequently as possible to prolong the duration of sex. You’ll naturally last longer because you’re not allowing yourself to climax and taking regular rests.
One of the best approaches to exercise yourself to last longer during sex is to delay your orgasm while masturbating. Using this technique regularly can train your body and brain to better regulate your orgasmic reaction and lengthen sex. Use plenty of lotion or lube to prevent chafing as you practice edging.
5. Masturbate Before Sex
A free and easy way to prevent premature ejaculation before a sexual encounter is to masturbate alone. If you masturbate before having sex, your body will be less receptive to sexual stimulation, allowing you to last longer.
You may ejaculate too soon if you’re agitated and haven’t ejaculated recently. Your scrotum is full, and your testosterone level is running high. Even the slightest touch, lick, or thrust can trigger an urge.
Before having sex, it may be necessary to experiment with masturbation times. You may find it difficult to acquire an erection again so quickly if you masturbate right before intercourse. However, if you climax long before having sex, you can be entirely reset and ejaculate too soon.
You’re looking for a balance between reducing stimulation and maintaining a strong sex drive.
6. Try Pause-Squeeze Method
Similar to edging, this is a form of biofeedback. When you use the squeeze technique, blood is pushed out of the penis, and the sexual tension is reduced for a brief while, suppressing the ejaculatory response.
While having sex or masturbating, the pause-squeeze strategy can be used:
- Pursuing sexual activity till you feel like ejaculating.
- Pull out and squeeze the tip of your penis for a few seconds or until the urge to ejaculate passes.
- Carry on with your sexual activity and repeat the method as necessary.
If you’re having an orgasm, pause and squeeze your penis just below the tip. With your thumb and forefinger, apply steady pressure to your urethra, or the tube that runs along the bottom of the penis, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex psychotherapist and author of ‘So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.’
7. Use Thick Condoms
To avoid premature ejaculation, use a condom, a simple option that may extend the pleasure of sex. The barrier formed by the condom around the penis can postpone ejaculation since it dulls the sensation.
You can prevent premature ejaculation by using extra-thick rubber condoms that function as a slip-on desensitizer for your member during sex, which are produced by most of the leading condom manufacturers.
8. Distract Yourself
Distracting yourself with other thoughts, such as what you’ve done throughout the day today or thinking about a football match you saw last week, is another alternative to prolong your sex session. As a distraction from the delightful sensations you’re experiencing, this may temporarily delay ejaculation.
However, it could also diminish your partner’s connection and pleasure of sex. In general, keep in mind to stay present and connected to your partner throughout sex, though you can experiment to see if this strategy helps you last longer.
9. Kegels Exercises
Kegel exercises involve a sequence of contraction and release activities for the pelvic floor’s pubococcygeal (PC) muscles, which are probably familiar to you.
Kegel exercises have been scientifically proven to help men extend the duration of their sex. “A 2005 study indicated that 75 percent of men strengthen their erection after practicing Kegels,” Men’s Health UK said. According to Italian researchers, the pelvic floor muscles can be strengthened to prevent premature ejaculation in 61% of male subjects.
Try stopping the flow of pee the next time you’re in the bathroom to get a sense of how these muscles feel when working hard. Let it flow after you cut it off, then cut it off again and let it flow once more.
- Try lifting your testicles without the aid of your hands. Imagine shrinking your penis or raising your nuts to your stomach.
- Tighten the muscles; if lying down or sitting, bits of help do so.
- For three seconds, keep the muscles tense. Then for the next three seconds, let your muscles relax.
- Once you are comfortable using your PC muscles to extend and contract, tighten, hold for a count of 10, then let go.
- For best results, perform three sets of ten repetitions daily.
10. Do Yoga
Good sex necessitates a calm body and mind. Ejaculatory muscles can be strengthened with yoga. There is evidence that yoga and deep breathing exercises can help bring the body and mind closer together. They aid in your ability to stay present.
There is evidence that yoga can improve a person’s general sexual health by managing their hormones, which impact their ability to perform in bed.
By focusing on mindfulness and self-control, yoga can assist patients with premature ejaculation acquire greater self-awareness and control over their sexual enjoyment and sexual function.
Research shows that compared to males who used a stop-start strategy, those taught to include yoga and breath management into their daily routines for one month were better at prolonging ejaculation.
11. Talk To Your Partner
Having your sexual partner’s support might be a crucial step in the process. Tell your partner that you’d like to see if you can go a little longer and see if they’re interested.
This may make things clearer to your partner and enable you to express any frustration you may be feeling. When you and your partner are openly communicating, you can talk about why you experience orgasms and try out all techniques for lasting longer.
12. Anesthetic Wipes (Delay Spray)
The mild anesthetic benzocaine, included in wipes, was proven to help people stay in bed longer in a 2017 study. What exactly is the issue? Because of this, the wipes may have an unwanted consequence of numbing your partner’s vagina.
These products, like condoms, can reduce your sex enjoyment similarly. Additionally, it may have an impact on how happy your partner is. As a precaution and to ensure that your spouse has no previous history of adverse reactions or problems with its use, let your partner know you plan to use it.
13. Numbing Medications By Doctors
Medications like lidocaine and prilocaine, available as creams or sprays and can help reduce sensitivity, are common constituents in prescription numbing creams and sprays.
To get the most benefit from numbing creams or sprays, apply them to the penis 20 to 30 minutes before sexual contact.
Before having intercourse, you should also remove the cream from your body. Keep your partner in the picture as a safety precaution and ensure they don’t have an allergy or other issue with its use.
Viagra is another option. Viagra helped men with premature ejaculation last longer and was more successful than the stop-squeeze strategy, according to a 2007 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. After the trial, 87% of those who used Viagra desired to continue the treatment, compared to 45% who used stop and squeeze as a therapeutic option.
14. Ask An Expert
If you’ve done everything to get better, longer sex but still haven’t had any luck, you should see a doctor about your situation. In the past, we’ve explored treatments like edging and biofeedback, which are difficult to utilize without the guidance of an expert.
A urologist can either treat or refer you to the correct person for your problem if you ask a doctor for a referral.
They will guide you in a practical and pragmatic direction. To put it another way, it’s not about getting to know yourself better. It’s all about knowing how to avoid premature ejaculation through physical or mental techniques.
15. Reduce Performance Anxiety
Anxiety disorders can manifest themselves in every area of one’s life. When you’re performing, others have certain expectations for you, and you don’t want to disappoint anyone, including yourself. Concern over one’s sexual performance also falls under this category.
Anxiety about one’s sexual performance in bed is no different. When it comes to sex, this might have a negative impact on your mental health.
You cannot wholly give anxiety up, but you can reduce it:
- Sharing this anxiety with a loved one can help alleviate some of the stress you’re now experiencing. Acknowledging your fear can be a massive step in improving your overall mental health.
- Remind yourself not to let your anxiety take over your life. Recognize the benefits you stand to earn by conquering your fear of sexual performance.
- Don’t think about things you cannot change. Your physical type, penis size, or other variables could fall into this category. Decide whether or not you have the ability to change these things. Unless you can, the best course of action is to find a way to live peacefully with them.
- Do your best to improve the things you can control. This may entail making your physique more muscular. Sexual performance anxiety can be alleviated simply by improving one’s physical condition.
16. Improve Your Cardio Health
According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, boosting your heart health improves all aspects of physiological functioning, including sex. Furthermore, strengthening your cardiovascular health increases your chances of having a long and fruitful sexual relationship.
You won’t see benefits for premature ejaculation right away from improving your heart fitness. However, it will improve your blood flow and stamina, which will enable you to have longer sessions of sex and possibly even produce more rigid erections.
Any form of exercise that boosts blood flow and elevates heart rate is a wonderful place to start. All forms of physical activity, including sports, swimming, biking, and exercise, are beneficial.
This will also improve your general sexual health, whether your goal is to tone up a bit or shed some belly fat. Your physical well-being, stamina, general health, and self-assurance will all increase, making it easier for you to stay in bed longer.
It can be challenging to have sex or be in a relationship if you ejaculate too early. Fortunately, there are numerous ways to stay in bed longer, including drugs, workouts, and sexual approaches.
The adventure is discovering what works best for you and your partner; it’s also likely that several of these approaches won’t be your thing or something that fits you, and that’s absolutely alright.
You might also want to discuss the matter with your spouse or partner so you can resolve it jointly. If everything else fails, consider consulting a medical professional or sex therapist who can guide you through the procedure.